It's a sure sign that your bank robbery is not going well when the teller runs screaming from the window. A very well dressed man entered a NYC Bank of America branch late last week. When it was his turn to approach a teller, he handed her a note saying he would begin shooting the customers if she did not give him all of her money. The woman panicked, began screaming "Oh my God!" over and over. The security cameras show the would be thief placing his finger to his lips and trying to shush the woman. She ran away and hid under a desk. The thief apparently had not developed the adaptation skills one needs to execute a plan gone awry; after standing there in shock for a moment, he walked out of the bank without any loot. See how our public schools are failing to prepare our utes for the real world.

Accidentally butt dialing someone is embarrassing or inconsequential to most, but for two Fresno, Calif., men, their cell phone mishap landed them in jail. The call, which went to 911, started like any other call to the police dispatcher, with the operator asking, "What is your emergency?" But when no one answered, the operator didn't hang up, instead staying on the line and listening to the pair, who police identified as Nathan Teklemariam and Carson Rinehart, both 20, as they talked about wanting to do drugs. It wasn't long before the conversation turned to breaking into a car. "Get the bolt and give me the hammer just in case," one of the two voices on the phone said. Shortly after that statement, the dispatcher heard a window shatter and the people on the phone started yelling that they found prescription drugs. As the two were driving away, police were already in the area searching for the men based on clues that the 911 dispatcher was feeding to them. The police finally tracked the suspects down and pulled them over. The suspects acted confused and questioned what why they were being pulled over, police said. "Oh, he's following me, dog," one of the suspects said in the recording. "Wow, what the [expletive] did I do?" As they were being questioned, the suspects allegedly denied any wrongdoing, but after searching the car, police said they found items that allegedly were taken from the burglarized vehicle. After being cuffed, the suspects were finally told how they were caught. "This fool really called 911?" one of the suspects said. "Damn."

And they wonder why we have no faith in the legal system. Former Westminster CA policeman Anthony Orban was tried and convicted of kidnapping and rape in June 2012. Orban had kidnapped a waitress at gunpoint from the parking lot of a Dave & Buster's restaurant. He took her and raped her. After he was found guilty and just before his sentencing hearing, Orban took his own life. He was found dead in his jail cell. Case over right? No, the judge, Shahla S. Shabet said there were legal issues to be decided and the sentencing hearing must go forward. So taxpayers in CA will have to foot the bill for Orban's defense attorney to go ahead and argue his case just as if the defendant were still alive and facing jail time. The victim supports the sentencing hearing saying it will provide closure to the case; really?! His death doesn't provide the closure you are seeking? What in the hell have we wrought upon this country?

The government is not our parent and shouldn't even act like it...

The Department of Health and Human Services is exploring alternative work schedules and situations. Kathleen Sebelius testified that she would like to see as much as 20% of the HHS work force to telework; that is work from home and/or work an alternative work schedule. That is not uncommon in the private sector, using the computer and phone to work from home or maybe work 4 ten hour days giving you a permanent 3 day work schedule. The goal is to save money in a number of ways.

But not at HHS; the reason Sebelius would like to explore alternative work schedules or arrangements is to reduce green house gas emissions, reduce employee stress and give these government workers more tim for "planning and preparing healthy meals." I cannot make this crap up. By working a 4 day schedule or working from home, the employees will not drive to work or take public transportation thus reducing green house gas emissions. AND as a benefit, they could adjust their work schedule to allow more time to eat healthy meals, because of course the biggest barrier to planning, preparing and eating healthy food is the fact that it takes so long to prepare healthy food. Let's be fair, it takes quite a bit of time to open a bag of prepared salad and cook a chicken breast on the BBQ. It's complicated; that might be true, they are government workers after all and have had what little modicum of common sense ability drummed right out of them.

Despite all the promises that things would be different and pork would be cut out of the big spending bills, the farm bill passed by the House is going to cost us nearly $1 trillion and somehow manages to include plenty of payments to special interests. There's a huge surprise. The bill will pay millions of dollars to peanut, cotton and milk producers to prop up crop prices. Here's typical Washington D.C. logic; the legislation will help farmers pay for crop insurance protection yet there is a mandated increase in the cost of crop insurance. Yeah, let's subsidize the insurance AND we'll raise the price.

So let's see, we are going to pay farmers money to ensure they get a higher price for their crop, which increases the price of food to the consumer. Because the price of food is higher, many people can't afford the food or as much of it, so we now have to increase food stamps and other welfare programs to help them pay for the food they need. Makes perfect sense to me...

According to analysts, only about 20% of farmers are getting 75% of the subsidies for crop insurance. Pile on top of that the fact that most of the 'farmers' getting subsidies aren't the family farms we think of but the corporate operations running farms as huge businesses. There isn't a limit on how much a farm business can receive either; other USDA programs limit the amount of money that can be received; put a cap on the farm bill of $40K, which seems more than reasonable and we the taxpayers would have saved over $1 billion last year alone.

Let's keep the theme going: the feds are testing a program that will analyze the effectiveness of sending text messages to people suffering from depression, reminding them to take their medication. The daily messages will "prompt patients to monitor mood, thoughts and behaviors. It will also provide medication and appointment reminders" and send personalized cognitive behavioral therapy based tips. Talk about the nanny state on roids; we are now their secretary or personal assistant or mother?! $147K to test this program and see if it helps people to remember to take their pills or see their doctor and to feel good about themselves. When did this fall under the enumerated powers of the federal government?

It implies that if you love someone, albeit just your fellow man, then you see the need that must be met and you do what you can to meet the need. You ignore what caused the need I would assume becuase that avoids placing any kind of blame upon someone and thus also avoids difficult or uncomfortable situations. That is why this country is in the difficult situation we find ourselves. We keep ignoring the cause of the problems thus providing a long term fix as well as eliminating the need. It goes back to giving a man a fish and feeding him for a day as opposed to teaching him to fish and feeding him for a lifetime.

This philosophy also assumes we are judging people, which is true to some extent but if we are willing to help then we are also forgiving them for any trespasses or maybe we just understand that bad things happen...

Has there been a more incompetent man to occupy such a position of power? I submit that Obama has gone to the head of the class surpassing Jimmy Carter. Glorious Leader claims the government is too big for one man to monitor what is going on; his lackeys claim it's Bush's fault for the economic bad times, the IRS scandal and so on. But how is it Bush's fault if the government is too big for one man to handle?

The corruption and abuse of power this administration has demonstrated is no surprise to those of us that have been paying attention; this is the Chicago way, using the power of one's position/office to investigate and destroy your political enemies, lying about what is going on convincing the low information voter that what they are seeing is not true. Plus Obama is a community organizer, no experience in leading anything so he does what he knows, sits aloofly by and complains, agitates and blames others for the problems.

While the MSM concentrates on the IRS, gun control and all the other domestic scandals, now including Obama's unilateral decision to decrease our nuclear arsenal even further, the rest of the world is worrying about the Middle East.

Obama is doing something there as well, he has again told the Turkish President that despite the evidence presented again to Obama by Turkey, the U.S. is not convinced that the Syrian army is the one using chemical weapons. President Erdogan was at the White House this week and presented Obama with eye witness testimony from Turkish doctors treating patients; video evidence that Syrian Army units were firing the chemical weapons but Obama said the U.S. wants more specific details...

Israeli P.M. Netanyahu visited Russia and was told by Vladimir Putin that they should keep their hands off of Syria or else. Russia not only shipped the S-300 batteries to Syria but also sent anti-ship cruise missiles to Assad so they can fire upon the Israeli navy. Putin also told Netanyahu that Syria and Hezbollah would be supported by Russia and possibly not just by the supplying of arms, in their threatened war of attrition from the Golan. Hezbollah and related Palestinian military groups have already increased their attacks on Israeli territory from Syrian military controlled sites and Russia is hell bent on supporting them.

Meanwhile Saudi Arabia is turning to Iran of all countries to help 'stabilize' the region. Saudi officials meeting with their counterparts from Iran said they have given up on the U.S. as a partner in seeking peace; Obama is all talk and no action according to one high ranking Saudi foreign ministry official. Saudi Arabia and many in the area have seen the Iran-Syria-Hezbollah coalition forces taking control in the civil war and realize that Lebanon could be next if Hezbollah is victorious in Syria, which appears to be the case. Saudi officials want to ensure the safety of the Sunni government in Lebanon and are negotiating with Iran to that end.

Quite simply, Obama doesn't know how to take action, how to engage and lead and the rest of the world sees it; they've lost faith in the United States and are seeking 'peace' with enemies, a peace which history tells us won't be real and won't last, but will only postpone what seems to be more inevitable by the moment, war with Israel.

Our government has become very good at one thing, spending your money in idiotic ways. The Department of the Interior is providing a grant to the Bureau of Reclamation in Arizona to assist in training two endangered species of fish to recognize and avoid predators.

From the Grant.com website: “The objective of the proposed project is to determine if training increases Bonytail and Razorback Sucker survival when exposed to predators,” the grant abstract states. “This proposal builds upon the 2012 Bureau of Reclamation assistance agreement with the Arizona Game and Fish Department (AZGFD) tasked with investigating the potential for training Bonytail and Razorback Suckers to recognize and avoid predators.

“One of the early conclusions of the prior work is that the schooling behavior of Bonytail may allow untrained fish to show improved survival because they recognize predator avoidance behaviors exhibited by trained individuals,” the abstract states.

Let's see, if a species can't recognize predators and get away from them or develop some type of defense mechanism, then the laws of nature say they should die. The people coming up with this program are probably the same that worship at the altar of Darwinism and natural selection... really, we've solved all other problems to the point that we believe training fish at the Valle Vista Golf Course in Kingman AZ is the best way to spend $472K? I'm sure some unemployed American will get those jobs...

A man who has never gone to school may steal a freight car but a man with a university education, he may steal the whole railroad - Theodore Roosevelt

Obama says the acting IRS director has resigned and he'll make all kinds of changes to ensure the inappropriate actions of two rogue IRS agents don't happen again. Sound familiar? Now what about the AP reporter scandal, Benghazi mess, Fast & Furious... oh that's right, the government is too big for one man, the President, to know what's going on...

How do you know when you run out of invisible ink? How come we chose from essentially just two people for President but 50 for Ms. America? Why is it we say we slept like a baby when the little bundle of 'joy' wakes up every two hours? How is it we put a man on the moon before we figured out that putting wheels on luggage is a good idea? Why do people pay money to go up a tall building and then put more money into binoculars to look at things on the ground? Why is it called 'after dark' when it's really 'after light'? Why do psychics have to ask for your name?

Bill Clinton wanted it but he won't get it; Obama wants it and he has a very good chance. "It" is the job heading the United Nations. Clinton was popular throughout the world and Obama really isn't but Obama has one thing Clinton doesn't, a deep and real hatred for America. Add to that Obama can be manipulated by those that hate us and he's a virtual shoe in. Think about it, GL is already going around the world apologizing for America's behavior, blaming us for all the problems in the world, who'd be better to head the organization than him in the eyes of Iran, Syria...

The IRS is already a stereotypical out of control bureaucracy and now the scandal of abuse of power is coming to light; you really want this agency to be in charge of enforcing Obamacare? Which groups/businesses will they chose to target for enforcement first? Or will they let liberal leaning groups slide a bit while they vigorously enforce the rules against conservative groups? What happens if a conservative wins the Presidency? Nothing since the bureaucrats are left leaning but think about it liberals, if the shoe were on the other foot you'd be screaming bloody murder.

Why do we leave milk and cookies for Santa but don't leave a salad for the Easter Bunny?

Why are we here? We are here to drink beer; to laugh at the odds and succeed despite them; we are here to live our live so well that Death will tremble to take us.

Based upon my calculations, I can now afford to retire about 5 years after I die.

Any man that has a dog smaller than the size of his rear end needs to turn in his man card. Unless that dog can hunt or rip out an intruder's throat in one fell swoop; and never let the dog ride in your lap when you are driving a car. You obviously don't care about the safety of others on the road but think about someone else pulling out in front of you and in the ensuing collision, the air bag is deployed. What gets crushed between the bag and your chest? Your little rat of a dog.

Top ten signs that your employer has changed to the Obamacare plan:

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left after you enter the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudge-sicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventative Care Coverage is "an apple a day."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is…."Embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra, and they give you a Popsicle stick and duct tape

How do you know your marriage is off to a shaky start? When the groom is arrested for soliciting a hooker on your honeymoon. That's right CC, we are off to Florida where apparently the stupid can rub off on tourists. Mohammed Ahmed, 21, of IL and his bride were on their honeymoon in Polk County. For some reason Ahmed decided to answer an online add placed by a prostitute. After telling is bride he was going out for a walk, he did not return to the Omni Hotel. She called police to report him missing. Um, no ma'am he's not missing, we've got him right here. The 'prostitute' was actually an undercover cop and he's been arrested for soliciting prostitution. No word on how quickly she left FL.

Aluminum foil has a lot of uses; besides the obvious cooking applications, it can be shaped into a hat to keep aliens from being able to read your mind or send mind control waves into your head to make you do things you don't want to do; like watching "The Notebook" with your wife or girlfriend. Keeping a gun from being detected by metal detectors or x-ray machines, not so good. Kerry Lee Bobo, 43, was flying from San Francisco to Amsterdam last week and had packed a handgun into his luggage. As the bag went through the x-ray machine, TSA agents got suspicious as they saw an object that seemed to be in the shape of a gun. After opening the luggage there was a Sig Sauer .45 caliber handgun wrapped in aluminum foil. Bobo told police that he was trying to hide the handgun from TSA officials; he needed the gun as he was going to Kenya after Amsterdam and needed it for protection. We'll see if you can get a refund on your travel since you'll be spending time in in a different kind of 'resort'.

Ada OK, 28 year old Christie Dawn Harris was arrested on drug charges. During the search at the jail, an officer found that Harris was doing her best to utilize all the orifices on her body. Hey, it's empty space, why not store something, it's efficient. Harris had the requisite baggies of meth in her derriere and some pills under her tongue. But it was in her fun box that an officer found Harris was taking things to the next level; she had hidden a gun, loaded no less, in her hoo-hah. It was only when the officer told Harris to bend over and 'spread her female parts' that the gun was discovered. Think about how big that has to be to conceal a .22 caliber Freedom Arms pistol. I'm not sure a black guy could satisfy her.

The IRS scandal continues to get worse as it's now clear that not only were agents in the Cincinnati office involved but their superiors in Washington D.C. also knew what was going on and encouraged or even initiated the probes. This is the worst kind of political chicanery and people not only need to lose their jobs over this but there should be criminal prosecutions. To that end the FBI will be investigating. What we've also found out is that IRS staffers also released confidential documents on conservative groups to a reporters/bloggers from a liberal website. Several of the groups about which ProPublica requested information had not yet been approved for non-profit status and releasing any information about unapproved applications is against the IRS rules and thus against the law.

Add to the ever growing list of privacy rights violations another bombshell from the Holder Department of Justice: the DOJ secretly obtained two months of telephone records of reporters and editors at the Associated Press. The records obtained included personal and professional phones for potentially over 100 reporters. The DOJ can issue subpoenas to obtain phone records for investigative purposes but must have tried to obtain the sought after information form alternative means first and must notify the targeted organization unless doing so would pose a 'substantial threat' to the integrity of the investigation. The DOJ confirmed those limitations in a letter responding to the AP's president. Yet, DOJ officials have not said there was an investigation of any type being conducted, which since they've been found out would be the simplest thing to claim, wouldn't it? Maybe they were just looking for whistleblowers or leaks... simple fact is, this scandal also takes some heat off of the Benghazi mess because conservatives don't like the media, it doesn't seem as bad as Benghazi.

Obama talks a good game about cooperation and bipartisanship but we know he never puts his words into action, at least not with sincere intent. Two weeks ago during a speaking engagement Glorious Leader told reporters that Rush Limbaugh was irrelevant and would likely soon be of the airwaves because no one was listening to him any more. This week, Obama pointed the finger of blame at Limbaugh claiming Republicans in Congress wanted to work with GL on gun control and other issues but were afraid of what Limbaugh might say about them. So which is it Mr. President, is he irrelevant or is he an influential member of the right wing? Can't be both. But Limbaugh has offered to sit down with GL at a place of the President's choosing, a time of his choosing and discuss the issues in a genuine effort to move things forward and break gridlock. You know how that will end.

17 companies have provided the House Energy and Commerce Committee reports on their estimations of the cost of health insurance once Obamacare kicks in full bore. The average increase, average folks, is 100%. Aetna, Blue Cross-Blue Shield and Kaiser say the increases will be as high as 400%. The average yearly cost of an individual grows from $1896 to $3709. This is due to several factors including requirements to cover a wider array of services and those in poor health being added to the rolls. Think about what that means for those of you that get insurance through your employer. Those costs are prohibitive and can't be absorbed by the company; you will likely be without insurance soon; and those in a union, it's even worse since a contract specifies how much the company will pay for benefits and can't be modified without negotiations and a revision to the contract. Since the pools designed to underwrite the cost of insurance for those that can't afford it have already gone broke, that's not going to be a viable option for you... all part of the grand design mind you, so a single payer system can be adopted.